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mood |
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Emotionless |
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music |
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Postal Service |
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Last night was a weird night. Im not sure what to feel. I think my heart slowly sunk into my stomach, maybe it fell out of my ass caz i can't feel one single emotion today thus far. Tonight i am hopefully hanging out Amy and then going to my sisters later. Amy I'll instant message you after school to see what's going on.
Keith called last night. We talked a bit. He's really nice. I think he'll be at Missy's tonight. To be honest. I just wanna get drunk until i fall over and pass out tonight. DON'T SAY THAT I DON'T HAVE GOALS PEOPLE?
Will anyone in this world get drunk and go bowling with me and maybe do drunken kareoke?? lol.. maybe? yes, no?
I want a prettier Livejournal, and i want a friends only banner made for me. But who to ask, Drew?? ;)
Things have been on the rough side. Parenting for me is impossible right now. I just need more time in the day, for school, work, child, and friends, and me. but i dont. i only have time for so little. As of late my day consist of waking up, going to school comming home and getting trinitys dinner, watching her and trying to keep her calm and occupied, trying to do homework and a term paper at the same time, thinking about life and things about life, trying to fix a relationship and care for it, trying to keep myself sane, cleaning the house all the time, and trying to make it so my friends don't think that i am ignoring them. I havn't been to the gym in a couple of weeks now, im kinda really behind on school work even still. And so, im going to take things slower. I talked to Joe and told him that i can't fix this relationship right now and that i have to push it aside. And so that was it. And my school work, im catching up on most of that today and next week. And for the things i've been thinking about, im trying to let them go. it's hard, but i can't blame myself for some of the things i have been. And i need help, i can admit to myself now that I AM NOT OKAY. I need help. Im going to suffocate or explode if i don't. And friends, if they care, theyll understand why i can't give attentionn to them all. But i do still love them. Im going to make everything better by this summer....yep...the summer.
I like this song a lot. original and this.
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave?
'Cause we shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
And that's what I've gotta face
I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've gotta face
Take a look at me now
I'll just be standing here
And you coming back to me
Is against the odds
And that's a chance I've gotta face
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she_suffocated's journal